This and That

I'm having a hard time focusing today, which I need to get past as there is so much to get done! Erin is on break and will be here this evening. We're spending most of the day tomorrow working on getting ready for a family shower for Baby Clinger on Saturday. :-) That will be fun!

But that means that I have just today to get things ready for Sunday morning--EasyWorship projection schedule and sermon--and I need to have a good start on my sermon for Sunday night. We're starting a new service at 5:30 on Sunday evenings ( called "Selah") and I found out that I was going to be preaching it too late to do one sermon for both morning and evening, so I'm doing double duty this week and next. :-(

I've read the last of Francis de Sales, but I'm to distracted by the rest of my day to reflect much on what he wrote. Ah, well, RIP Francis.

Peace, love and grace.

Changing Bitter to Sweet

STOP! This is the kind of theology that just makes me nuts! In the section titled "They Change It into Honey," Francis says, "It is true that devout souls encounter great bitterness in their works of mortification, but by performing them they change them into something more sweet and delicious. Because the martyrs were devout men and women, fire, flame, wheel, and sword seemed to be flowers and perfume to them. If devotion can sweeten the most cruel torments and even death itself, what must it do for virtuous action?"

I'm not sure how Francis is using the word "mortification," but it seems to me to be one thing to deprive myself of something I like and something else altogether to be subjected to "fire, flame, wheel, and sword" by someone else. I find it hard to stomach the thought that "cruel torments" are made sweet. Is it a good thing that people were burned at the stake or viciously slaughtered because of their faith? The fact that they had enough faith, a strong enough faith to withstand their torment gives me a goal to aim for in my own spiritual development, but the fact that they were subjected to something so horrible is still reprehensible and in no way sweet! And if Francis is using "mortification" in the sense of inflicting pain on yourself, than I can't even go that far with him.

We need to continue to strive for spiritual maturity and depth of convictions so that if we're called to martyrdom, we'll have the strength to withstand whatever pain and torments might be inflicted upon us, but having withstood them will not change their bitterness to something sweet.

Peace, love and grace.

Spiritual Agility

In today's reading, Francis says that, "devotion is simply that spiritual agility by which charity works in us or by aid of which we work quickly and lovingly....To be good a person must have charity, and to be devout, in addition to charity, he must have great zeal and readiness in performing charitable actions."

Hmmm....how does devotion help us work quickly and lovingly? That's a bit puzzling to me.

I'm wondering what's up with his concern over "being a good person." There are lots of good people all over the world. While I agree that charity is a primary trait by which we judge goodness, I would hope he see more to the Christian life than just doing good works.

Stay tuned for tomorrow when we hear Francis say, "....

Peace, love and grace.

Busted!

This morning I've moved on to reading an excerpt from Introduction to the Devout Life by Francis de Sales (1567-1622). Francis says that we all paint devotion with the lens of our passions. We think we're devout because we fast, but we don't see how our caustic remarks hurt someone. Or we pray three times a day, but then gossip about our neighbor.

He writes: "...many persons clothe themselves with certain outward actions connected with holy devotion, and the world belives that they are truly devout and spiritual whereas they are in fact nothing but copies and phantoms of devotion."

Ouch! That one hit me smack in the face!! It's one of the things I struggle with as a pastor. I may be wrong, but I have this notion that people look at their pastors and see people who are just a little bit closer to God than the average Jane or Joe. It's not something I try to foster, but perhaps I don't do enough to debunk the myth. Other than occasionally admitting my shortcomings in small groups and in sermons, I'm not sure how to do that. Maybe I need to call in the Myth Busters. Any suggestions?

Peace, love and grace.

True Religious Affections

Some of the affections of true religion are:
holy fear--trembling at the Word of God;
hope--sure and steadfast anchor of the soul;
love--God, neighbor, self;
hate--sin and evil;
holy desire--as the deer pants for the water;
joy--delight yourself in the Lord;
religious sorrow--blessed are those who mourn;
gratitude--thankfulness and praise to God;
compassion--God honors those who show mercy; and
zeal--what's missing from the lukewarm Laodiceans.

These are what Edwards gives as proof that all true religion comes from affections. And when I stop and think about it, I think I have to admit that I can't think of anything I've done (whoa, that's a whole lot of "thinks") that hasn't been motivated by some "affection." Can you?

Peace, love and grace.

A Heart Deeply Affected

Edwards believes that we don't make changes unless we're moved by affections. My preaching doesn't move anyone to action unless I appeal to their affections. There's no effect without affect.

If this is true, how must I change my sermons so that people become not hearers only, but doers? Hmmm...

Any suggestions?

Peace, love and grace.

iNstitute '08

It's taken me a while to get to this post, not for any real reason other than I just hadn't thought to post about it. (Duh!) But I have to say that iNstitute was awesome this year! We had a great Care Group. Now, I know that everyone always says they had a great CG, but this one really was. It was most evident outside of our CG times. Almost every day, when I would see one CG member, I'd see at least half the CG and when I'd look for someone else I'd find the other half of the group. They really hung together and it was wonderful to see!

We had one young woman (Hi, Claire) who came late because of another camp. I worried that she might not fit in because of having missed the first day-and-a-half and that the group would have bonded without her, that she'd never really be a part of the group, but just an appendage to it. BUT! It was as if she'd been there all along. They welcomed her, found a place for her in the skit we were working on, and she was in one of those halves of the group every single time! They were awesome!!

We didn't get into deep philosophical discussions, they didn't get all weepy over each other during our last long CG time, but they were fun to be with for the week. I got to connect with a couple of them during the iNstitute reunion, but had to leave right after our worship time so I didn't get to see most of the others who were there.

So here's a shout-out to you all--you're iNcredible! Stay in touch. I look forward to seeing you all next year. (Except you, Sam. I'll see you at Visitors' Nights and when you can come back as an adult.) And don't forget about other Conference youth events, like CIA in October. Make sure your youth leader knows about it and gets you there. We can have our own mini-reunion.

Keep believing!

Peace, love and grace.

The Spring of Action

Still on Jonathan Edwards. He says that it is affections--love, hatred, desire, hope, fear, etc.--that move us to action, and that without these affections there would be no activity; the world would be motionless and dead.

As I ponder that, and wonder if it is true, it makes me stop to think about my actions. What causes me to get up and walk in the morning? to go to work? to straighten the house? to do laundry? or any of the myriad things I do each day without thinking about them? What affections are at work in me? Is it love, desire, hope, fear, covetousness, ambition, pride? Or is it something else entirely?

My prayer for my day (and yours) is to be more aware of my actions and what is driving them. Are they caused by some affection and if so, what is it? What is driving yours?

Engagement of the Heart

Jonathan Edwards' Engagement of the Heart says some things that appear to be in opposition. He says "The importance of religion is so great that no halfhearted exercise will suffice....in nothing is lukewarmness so odious." This to me says that if your expression of religion is not completely heart-felt, then it stinks.

In the next paragraph he says, "True religion is a powerful thing. The power of it appears, first, in the inward exercises of the heart (which is the seat of all religion). Therefore, true religion is called 'the power of godliness,' in contrast to the external appearances of it, i.e., the mere 'form'...when grace is at work within us, it sometimes 'burns' within us, as it was for Jesus' disciples."

I'm not sure what he means by "inward exercises of the heart," but it sounds like the practice of spiritual disciplines. If I'm correct in this, do you not need to practice the disciplines in order to form the heart inwardly? None of us is born into the world as practicing Christians. It takes time and training to mold us into followers of Christ.[1] In Mary Kay, we had a phrase that I think fits here--sometimes you have to "fake it 'til you make it."

This is what John Wesley did, as well. He served as a priest for years before he had his famous Aldersgate experience. It wasn't until then that his heart burned within him, yet he had been doing the work and will of God for years. I'd hate to think that the years he spent before his Aldersgate experience were odious to God.

Or perhaps I'm missing something.

Peace, love and grace.

Note
1. I got this phrase from Steven Blair at Institute.

Church Basement Roadshow

I made a roadtrip to Wichita for the Church Basement Roadshow with Tony Jones, Doug Pagitt and Mark Scandrette. I have to say that I was disappointed with it. It's not that it wasn't a great show--it was, and I came away with what I think will be useful information--but it wasn't what I was expecting. What it was, was a promotional tour for their new books. Perhaps, I'm too naive, or not "something" enough, but I was expecting sage advice from three of the biggest names in emerging worship. All in all, it was a fun evening and I liked what I did hear from them. I'll see where the books take me. If nothing else, I've got Healing Balm of Gilead now.

Peace, love and grace.

I'm still on Dallas Willard's The Spirit of the Disciplines. He makes the case that "the churches of the Western world have not made discipleship a condition of being a Christian." You can join a church with no requirement for growing in Christ. I hadn't thought about it that way, but that's probably what has created our "social club" Christians. It makes me wonder how it's different in the Eastern world, or if it is any different, and if so, how?

I think of The United Methodist Church of the Resurrection in Leawood, Kansas and their senior pastor's insistence that when you become a member, you agree to support the church by your presence in worship, by giving in proportion to your income with the tithe as the goal, by being involved in some kind of Bible study, Sunday school class or prayer group, and by helping at least once a year in a mission/service project organized by the church. I've often heard the protest that if we "made" our members do those things, we would scare people away. But Church of the Resurrection is the largest United Methodist Church in our Conference, and while I don't have facts in figures in front of me, I think they are raising up more new pastors than any other church in our Conference.

Hmm... Dallas and Adam may be on to something here.

Peace, love and grace.

Practicing the With-God Life

Renovare talks about developing the "with God" life. The assignment this week was to pick a way to practice the comtemplative discipline. The exercise I chose asks you to read something on the spiritual life, but to read it to understand it. Rather it is to be read "with God," with the knowledge that God is in the room with me as I read. I am to find God in the reading. Hmmm...

Today I'm reading an excerpt from The Spirit of the Disciplines by Dallas Willard. One of the things I've struggled with in my spiritual life is the feeling that my spirituality is too simplistic. I tend to take things literally and at face value. One of the things Willard says about Christian discipleship is that,

"The disciple of Jesus is not the deluxe or heavy-duty model of the Christian person--especially padded, textured, streamlined, and empowered for the fast lane on the straight and narrow way. He stands on the pages of the New Testament as the first level of basic transportation in the Kingdom of God."

This gave me a good laugh. As I read it, I had the thought that it's OK for me to be a jalopy for God! I'm not sure what I would pick today as basic transportation, but I like the image of an old Model A- or Model T-type car bumping down the road of life.

I may never be a spiritual giant, but I'm in the company of the early disciples who rarely understood, rarely "got it," and yet it is on them, and on me, that Christ has deigned to build the Church. And if you're reading this, then you're probably one, too.

Hang on! We're in for one heck of a good ride! Thanks be to God!

Peace, love and grace.

Letter to God

Last Tuesday was the first meeting of the Posse Renovare group, composed of Susie Olsen, my preschool director; Mindy Turner, my children's director; Kyle Olson, my youth director; Kay Scarbrough, my senior pastor; and me. We're meeting on Tuesday mornings at Edesia's, a local bakery and coffee shop just down the street from the church. I'm really excited about getting this, and more like it, started in the church!

After our meeting last week, we had an assignment to write a letter to God, recalling the first time I sensed God's presence and some of the ways God has revealed Godself to me since then. I'm sharing that here.

Dear God,

It's hard to think of the FIRST time I sensed you in my life because you've just always been there. I can't remember a time I didn't go to church and Sunday school. And given how my memory works (read: doesn't always remember), it's a difficult task.

The first time I have any vivid memory was in high school. We'd had a meeting at Manhattan First Presbyterian Church to plan an upcoming youth retreat and were worshipping there on Sunday morning. I was tired from having been up late the night before and I drifted off. It was probably more of a dream, than any thing, but I was sitting in my pew looking up at the stained glass window behind the chancel and I had a "vision" of sorts. I saw something I can't even describe, but it was wondrous to see. I remember looking around after to see if anyone else was as awe-struck as I, but everyone was just sitting there listening to the preacher. It was an incredible time, but it has stayed with me, and really sustained me, all these years later.

Since then, and probably before then, I've known you in many ways--through the beauty of nature, the splendor of a sunrise or sunset, through the miracle of birth and the finality (and yet not) of death. I've seen you through what you have done in the lives of others and in the relationships of family and friends you have placed in my life. I know you through the love you have given me in and through Dale.

I know you in large part because of how you worked in my life most visibly during seminary. There were papers I wrote for which I don't feel I can take much of the credit. The words that ended up in the versions I handed in, were pure gift. The certainty of my call and the work you enabled me to do were two of the things that kept me at it, when I might otherwise have thrown in the towel.

I've known you in part. I look forward to the time when I will know as I've been known, when I will no longer look through a glass dimly.

In your peace, love and grace.

Catching up

It's been awhile! I had a great trip to NYC with Heather and Erin. We're talking now about making plans for next year and including all our female relatives and going some place like Colorado or off the coast of North Carolina. Stay tuned.

After the trip to NY, I stopped in Chicago with Heather and then met Dale and the rest of the family in West Lafayette IN on Saturday for Jeff's ordination. As an elder in another UM Conference, I was allowed (at Jeff's request) by his bishop to be one of the three clergy who was on the platform for the laying on of hands. What a great honor and such a proud moment and incredibly humbling all at the same time! Thanks, Jeff! We drove back up to Highland that evening, went to church with Heather and Jeff on Sunday (along with Erin and Jay), grilled out after church, then started the long trek back to Manhappenin.

Back home for one night, then off to a Conference Council on Youth Ministries (CCYM) overnight--after being delayed by a hail storm that broke out the windows in Sarah's car--at Ottawa First UMC. I've agreed to join Kurt Cooper and Natasha Norman as co-CCYMCs (Conference Council on Youth Ministries Coordinators) for the coming year. Stay tuned for more on that as it develops.

On the way home from CCYM, I stopped in Baldwin City to meet with the Annual Conference worship team to go over all the services planned for Annual Conference.

Back home for one more night, then off on Wednesday morning to Annual Conference for the week. When it was over on Saturday, I returned home to write my sermon for the next morning. Whew!

Last week was a blur as I got back to the church to catch up on all those things that hadn't been done for the two weeks I was gone and the things that DID happen.

All that being said, I'm hoping to get back into a routine and posting here again on a more regular basis. That's all for this post.

Peace, love and grace.

Life in the Garden

This morning I was reading about Adam and Eve's life in the garden. The story was of the serpent giving them the forbidden fruit to eat. God knew they had hidden themselves, but came looking for them anyway. Even knowing they had disobeyed her command, God wanted to continue to be in relationship with them.

Reading this familiar story again this morning, I was struck by the thought that we are still in the garden! I mean, I know that the story says God kicked them out and made their life much harder, but when I look around me I still see an incredibly lush, rich, fertile garden that needs to be tended. I see animals that need to be taken care of. Perhaps we are all still Adams and Eves. I know I've disobeyed God's command, and it wasn't just one time. Yet God continues to seek me out; God continues to want to be in relationship with me.

God, come and walk with me in your garden. Teach me how to listen for the sound of you walking through the garden. Help me remember that there is nothing I can do that will make you not want to remain in relationship with me.

How we communicate with God

How do you communicate with God? Seems like a simple enough question, until I really get to thinking about it. Prayer is the obvious (to me) first answer. But so often that's only 1-way communication. How else do we give to and receive from God? I think John Wesley would have said we communicate with God through the various means of grace. Prayer is one of those, but so are reading the Bible, communion, fasting, doing good deeds for others, visiting the sick and imprisoned, feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, working for justice, and through the giving of our tithes and offerings. Even in the midst of community, we are in communication with God.

I had an experience Sunday that made me think through this again. I was running around church taking care of some tasks when I saw one of the elementary teachers over in the main building looking rather frazzled and almost on the edge of tears. She was having an emotional moment. We had moved all the elementary classes into one group for the day and the plan was to show a movie. But the DVD player, projector, something wasn't working, and our children's director was out of town yesterday with a family graduation so she couldn't take care of the problem for the teachers. This gentle spirit knew everything would be OK and that she and the other teachers could keep the kids entertained for the allotted time, but when you're faced with a larger-than-expected classroom full of end-of-school, spring-fevered kids that you have to supervise for 60 minutes and your plan has just gone down the drain...

I asked her if I could say a prayer for her. I held her hands and prayed...for her, for the other teachers, for the kids...I not sure what I said. I have no idea if she heard any of the words I said or if they made any difference if she did. But I know that I touched God and I was better because of it.

and finally...

...a purpose! Long story, short--I have begun using the Renovare study Bible and accompanying devotional books along with starting a number of spiritual formation groups using Renovare materials at church. My blogging will be my journal, a place to share my questions, musings, etc. as I begin to work on the "with God" life. You are welcome on my journey, either as a traveling companion, as a spectator, or anything in between. Blessings on your own "with God" life.

njk

Start Over 3

Once again I'm starting a blog. I've tried this a couple of times before and it has vanished into the ethernet due to lack of attention. I'm hoping that the third time is the charm. However, I also want to state right up front that I'm having problems with my laptop so I'll have to borrow Dale's laptop or blog from church. Neither of these are bad options. They may even make it better to have to be more intentional about scheduling the time I blog. We'll see. For now I'm back in the game!

Speaking of games--Go Hawks! They made it to the Elite 8 last night and are headed for a showdown with the Davidson Cinderella team on Sunday night. Again, we'll see.

My other news, the really great news, is that Heather is pregnant and we're going to be grandparents! :-) How 'bout them apples! The best part of Heather and Jeff having a baby is that they're in the process of moving back to Kansas. They're looking in the Olathe area, which is only a couple of hours away instead of 9-10 hours away. :-D

So this is my first post for this go-round. Stay tuned.